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Never Fear, Newsbreaker Jane Is Here!

January 10, 2011

One of my 2011 resolutions was to not take bullshit from anyone. Ever. I realized that I spent a lot of 2010 stressed out and annoyed because I let too many people get away with nonsense. Either I was too afraid to say anything for fear of hurting their feelings or I let obvious lies slide because it seemed more trouble than it was worth to call people on them.

Not anymore. It’s time for everyone to either put on their big girl panties or man up. Let’s stop being afraid to have open, honest, discussions. Who’s with me?!

OK. I sense your reservations. You’re thinking, “Jane, I have to live/work with these people. I can’t afford to step on any toes, ruffle any feathers.”

How ’bout I’ll say what you want to, but can’t. Because frankly, I don’t give a shit about their toes or feathers. I don’t know these people.

So here’s how it will work: For the low fee of $5, I will send a straightforward, witty, and polite email to the person you’re afraid to confront. It will be totally anonymous. If that’s what you want, you and I will work together to come up with a clever way to keep your identity a secret.

Example of what $5 gets you:

Dear Jane,

Every time my mother-in-law comes to our house for a party, she stops to eat before she arrives. Even if we tell her not to. It’s annoying because of the money spent on food and it’s awkward when we’re all eating and she’s just standing there watching. Her reason for doing so: She says she not sure WHEN we will be eating, so she eats first. I need to let her know that it is inconsiderate and rude. Please help.

Dear Susan,

I am writing on behalf of close family members who are fed up with your habit of eating before attending their social events. When you arrive late because you stopped to eat, that’s annoying. Also, they’ve budgeted to feed you and you’re wasting their money. Taking a plate home at the end of the party is not the same. They wanted to share that food and time with you, at the party, celebrating the occasion. You spoil that by spoiling your appetite. Please stop.

Sincerely,

Newsbreaker Jane

Other possible scenarios:

  • Office mate needs to be a little more generous with his deodorant application? I’ll tell him.
  • Have a friend that is notoriously late or constantly breaking plans and you don’t know how to tell them it’s annoying? I’ll do it.
  • Your girlfriend’s ass DOES look fat in those jeans? I’ll break it to her gently.

Please send all requests to Newsbreaker Jane. To learn more about Jane click here.

You can also follow Jane on Twitter @newsbreakerjane and Facebook.